Doing It All Differently:
A Personal Reflection on Motherhood and Design





It’s fascinating how we perceive the world around us and how the world sees us. Can a woman be a mother, a wife, and a designer and do her best? This question has followed me ever since the age of 26, when I decided to move across the world with my husband and a growing belly, stepping into one of the most demanding and creative environments.


I relocated to the United States to pursue a Master’s in Industrial Design, so I walked into studios and workshops with a visible bump and a quiet determination, unsure how I would be received, unsure if I could manage it all, but certain that I had to try. The world often sees motherhood as a pause button. But what if, instead of a limitation, motherhood became a powerful lens through which we design? What if empathy and resilience, all strengthened by motherhood became essential tools for reimagining the future?


For centuries, design like many other fields, has been shaped predominantly by male voices. Women have often had a chance to carve out space for themselves in environments where their perspectives were undervalued or overlooked. Even today, in the 21st century, the design world continues to treat motherhood more as a professional detour than as a source of insight and strength. As Caitlyn Collins argues in Making Motherhood Work, American cultural and workplace norms continue to position mothers as incompatible with professional success. Design studios and institutions often lack the structural support that is essential for women with children who wish to work. They lack flexible hours, paid parental leave, or child-friendly workspaces, that would enable mothers to succeed and work. It’s also interesting how Bell Hooks critiques Sandberg’s "Lean In" which overlooks the struggles of women of color, working-class women, and mothers. Hooks argues promotes individual ambition over collective change, a critique that aligns with how the design industry prioritizes productivity over supporting caregivers. But those have to be simultaneous if we wish to create a better environment for mothers. The expectation remains largely binary: either you are fully committed to your career, or you are fully committed to your family. For those of us who dream of building a career while also being present, loving mothers, it doesn't make us selfish or wrong. Yet rarely is there space for the idea that a woman can do both, and do both well. 


Do I have time?


No, I haven’t had “extra” time in months. But I work hard. I show up for my child and my dreams. Women can do anything they set their minds to, not by doing everything perfectly, but by prioritizing with intention. The challenge isn’t trying to do it all. Lately, I’ve understood that the challenge is learning how to do what matters most, with purpose and clarity.My own experience reveals just how deeply rooted these biases are. I’ve felt the silent doubts, the polite skepticism, the unspoken question: Can she manage this? But instead of discouraging me, that pressure has clarified my path. It has made me more intentional and more certain of the kind of designer, woman, and mother I want to become. And I haven’t done it alone. Having people who believe in you makes all the difference. My husband has been my biggest supporter, and my family’s encouragement has helped me navigate the hardest parts: pregnancy, postpartum recovery, sleepless nights, and mental exhaustion, all while studying and completing assignments. As long as design continues to overlook or underestimate the experiences of mothers, it risks staying incomplete. If we want to build a truly inclusive and innovative design future, we must stop seeing motherhood as a pause and start seeing it for what it truly is: a powerful transformation.


At 36 weeks, I transitioned to remote learning. My daughter, Nene, was born on November 1st, and even then, I still had classes and meetings on my schedule. Yes, I had to cancel them all, but I came back. Slowly, tiredly, but with purpose. There’s a strange strength that comes with becoming a mother. You don’t stop being yourself, but in those early days, it was hard to think about anything beyond Nene. My mind was completely wrapped around her. But little by little, I found my rhythm again. I’ve continued my studies, catching up on coursework gradually. Thankfully, the environment around me has been supportive and flexible, helping me find ways to balance it all. But, I wonder if that’s the case in other places. In The Mommy Myth, Douglas and Michaels argue that modern media promotes the “perfect mother”, self-sacrificing, ever-present, and fulfilled solely through motherhood. This idea leaves little room for women like me who seek to do both. My return to studies wasn’t about destroying that myth, but about having support, something many lack due to environments that uphold these myths without offering real flexibility. Since the book’s release in 2004, motherhood discourse has evolved, but the myth still stays in some people’s minds. Now often seen on social media, how people place unrealistic demands on women while ignoring systemic gaps, that is wrong which we have to work on and change.


Balancing a newborn and graduate school has been the most challenging thing I’ve ever done. Every nap became work time, even when my mind struggled to focus. Every moment of rest felt borrowed. There were doubts, and days when I felt like I wouldn’t be able to give enough to either my daughter or my work. But there were also moments when I learned to work while she napped and to give her my full attention while she was awake. That’s when I realized, I don’t need to design despite being a mother — I can design because I am one. It’s taking time, but I’m in the middle of it and honestly, for the first time, I truly feel proud of myself. It’s interesting how design, as a discipline, is also responding to me as a mother. My approach has changed, not just because I’m a designer who became a mom, but because the two roles influence each other. I’ve noticed how I give my daughter space to explore things freely, I Like her to discover things in her own time and in her own way. That instinct, of encouraging curiosity, play, and open-ended discovery mirrors how I approach design. I don’t always start with fixed outcomes. I explore, observe, and let meaning emerge. I find myself that, the way I raise her reflects the way I design and the way I design is now deeply informed by how I mother. I won’t pretend I’m doing it all perfectly. I’m not. But I’m doing it and that matters. I’m not here to prove myself to anyone. I’m here to build a life and a career that reflects who I am fully and honestly.


If we want the design to truly innovate, it must expand to include the lived experiences of women, particularly mothers. That means rethinking rigid structures in studios and schools, embracing diverse work rhythms, and making room for alternative ways of thriving. Giving change to have a work-life balance for everybody. Inclusion doesn’t mean lowering the standards, it means expanding our definition of excellence. This isn’t a request for special treatment. It’s a call for a cultural shift, one that recognizes that being a woman, a wife, and a mother doesn’t take away from design practice.


Throughout my life I’ve learned that identity doesn’t have to be split into separate parts, it can be layered, dynamic, and beautifully whole. The design world, like the world at large, often tries to compartmentalize us. It tells us we must choose: career or family, ambition or nurture, creation or caregiving. But my journey has taught me that those choices are not always “either-or” but sometimes, they’re “both-and”.


Design in the 21st century has the opportunity to evolve, not just in aesthetics and technology, but in values. We must design systems that reflect real lives, complex identities, and diverse pathways. That starts with representation, but it also requires empathy, openness, and courage, both individually and institutionally.


I hope my story can inspire other women who are wondering if they can do it all or if they’re allowed to try. The answer is: yes, you can. Not perfectly, not without challenges, but in your way, on your terms. And in doing so, you don’t just make space for yourself,  you help carve out space for others, too.


If I can do that, even in small ways, then I’m proud. Because design isn’t just about objects or spaces — it’s about people. It’s about life. And motherhood, with all its messiness and magic, has only deepened my understanding of both.





Bibliography

Collins, Caitlyn. 2019. Making Motherhood Work: How Women Manage Careers and Caregiving. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press.

Douglas, Susan J., and Meredith W. Michaels. 2004. The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How It Has Undermined All Women. New York: Free Press.

hooks, bell. 2013. “Dig Deep: Beyond Lean In.” The Feminist Wire, October 28, 2013. https://thefeministwire.com/2013/10/dig-deep-beyond-lean-in/.